Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
