i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I am available for nakedness
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
