I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
