Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my being single is dangerous.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
