Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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