Your face is a jimmy john
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
