finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
