Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
