I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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