dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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