So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
