Define "chronic" masturbator.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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