she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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