I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
