Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
