I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
