I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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