Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
