New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
