Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
