Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
