That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
