Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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