Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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