I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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