I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Reggie can tackle my bush.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
