I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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