You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm at about main and main street
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
