I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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