If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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