Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
