Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
