Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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