Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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