Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i already hear my dad disowning me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
