i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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