i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
