Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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