You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
