hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
