i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
No subtext here. People are naked.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well I just put wine in my tea
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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