very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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