i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
