I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
