they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
