Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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