If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
