so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
