Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
