Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
